About me.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged . You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Hmm...fuck "tagging" people...sorry, but I am doing this through my blog anyway. Just read it if you want and do your own if you wish it. ^_^

1) I'm obsessed with movies but if someone else suggests a movie to me, or really wants me to see a particular movie I avoid it at all costs -- even though I know if I end up watching it I will love it.

2) I want a tattoo really bad, but I don't know what to get, and I am afraid that if I get one I won't like it later in life, or that the person who does it will mess up. And I worry that it will be too painful, even though people tell me otherwise.

3) Speaking of pain, I am really intolerant. I think I might die in childbirth, because I sometimes get really bad stomach aches and I get dizzy and almost pass out, and while I am in that state of mind I always think about giving birth and wonder if there could possibly be a worse pain I could endure.

4) Much of my life --the things I do, the way I am-- is because of fear. I am trying to get over that because I don't want to let fear drive my life. But my conscience is sometimes my worst enemy.

5) Speaking of fear, I am also VERY superstitious. Not all of it is fear-ridden superstition, but I am pretty "paranoid" much of the time.

6) I have like, massively embarrassing OCD sometimes. Usually at night. Which is one of the reasons I avoid going to sleep because then I have to make sure everything is perfect and I kinda hate that "ritual"

7) I hating having lots of things. I am slowly getting rid of more and more of the shit I own, but sometimes it is hard due to emotional attachment. I am also afraid of forgetting anything, and I don't want to give something away that is attached to a memory, in fear of losing that memory.

8) "I am absolutely terrified of flying. Every time I get on a plane, I anticipate never getting back off." -Amanda. Well that is the same for me. I also worry every time my parents or someone else I know fly. I actually think it is arrogant and illogical to not be afraid of riding in a couple tons of fiberglass being hurtled through the air... maybe that is just me.

9) I am irrevocably OBSESSED with Twilight. And I don't give a flying fuck what you people think of that. The story is like... one of my fantasies. Everything about the movie and the book, I am in love with. I am also anxiously anticipating getting through all the books but I am trying to pace myself since I know eventually there will be none left to read. People say it is bad acting and bad writing. I guess I am just not that critical. Or maybe I just have different standards.

10) I am a virgin. And actually, I have very little, to absolutely no desire to have sex anytime soon, or even ever. Is that weird? Oh well. That's me. XD

11) I've never smoked pot, or done any illegal substance. I like it that way. Haha.. besides, if you saw me tonight, or on many occasion, you would realize that I don't need drugs to get high, or to have fun. I like myself, and my mind, substance free. ^_^

12) I've never been drunk. I don't really like the taste of alcohol... though occasionally a sip of wine or any alcoholic beverage is desirable. ha, except after that sip, I remember why I hate it in the first place.

13) Sometimes I believe I might be prone to depression (the whole chemical imbalance thing), but many times I also think that I am just too aware of the world to not be insane. You know how lots of brilliant people are also psychotic? I am not saying I am brilliant, (maybe I just have different perceptions of the world) but I am saying that I am a bit psycho... and many-a-time I truly believe I should be locked away.

14) It makes me sick when the majority of the conversations surrounding me are about sex and drugs. Maybe that is because I can't relate, or maybe it is because I wish I could be hearing more intellectual conversations which I could perhaps participate it.

15) I know I can't dance worth a deuce. But that don't mean I won't shake it anyway.

16) I want to visit every continent and every state. And perhaps also sail around the world (I have a love affair with water --namely the ocean). I also want to live in Antarctica for part of my life.

17) I like to walk around listening to music. It makes me feel like I'm in a movie. Additionally, I love walking around, listening to music, jump into giant puddles and get soaking wet. Especially when i am super angry. Being outside when feeling emotion is like being connected to the world in a whole new way. Being angry in the rain is like the whole natural world knows what you are feeling and is feeling it with you, and letting you stomp around, kicking the ground and punching the trees while all the while getting soaked to the bone and becoming refreshed from the release of emotion.

18) I cry in lots of movies. Movies that it doesn't really make too much sense to cry in... if it gets to me, it really gets to me. I also love movies (and situations) that make me laugh uncontrollably. Ahh, the release.

19) Music. I think most people feel an indesribable connection to music, so I don't really know what to say about it. But it is definitely something that helps describe who I am.

20) I want to go to space. Simple as that. I am so fascinated by the prospect of what lies beyond the world, beyond what most people witness throughout their lives.. the prospect of other life.. the prospect of infinity. It baffles my mind. And, it'd also be cool to be a Jedi, or a crew member of the Enterprise. yup yup. outerspace.

21) I believe in a balance in the universe. I believe in karma. I believe in love, and peace. I believe in some form of magic (though, not the typical association of the word). I believe in universal rights and acceptance. I believe in the power of the natural world and the elements. I don't believe in a 'god,' because the connotation of that word is so loaded with excess meaning. But I believe in a power, beyond comprehension, and even beyond the full grasp of imagination. But mostly, I believe in love. :)

22) Unfortunately, I also believe there are some people the world would be better off without. People who hunt for mere sport. People who have shut their minds to change and possibility and differences. People who believe in their ideology so powerfully that they feel it is within their right to take a life. Perhaps, the world would not be balanced without these people, but perhaps it would be more balanced if these people would find some balance and humility within themselves.

23) I believe true love never dies. And I also believe there are many different types of love, and different people feel certain things in different situations. Therefore, one person's love can never be better than anothers, because they can't really be compared. It's just that one type of love might be more ideal for one person than it is for another.

24) Sometimes I wish I was more like other people and sometimes I wish other people were more like me. And even other times I am glad such things are the way they are.

25) There is so much left to say. I love color. and black and white. I love card games and board games. I love books, and usually cry whenever I read a novel. My favorite things to shop for are clothes. I still sleep with a stuffed animal or two, but ALWAYS at least one: Timber, the wolf my mom gave me when I passed second grade. I love being at home. I miss high school but I know I was miserable and I would once again be miserable if I returned. But sometimes I also miss that misery. I hate germs and thusly I wash my hands alot and don't sit on bare toilet seats (except at home). I can't cook worth anything, though I stopped trying after a couple bad batches of cookies and pancakes and mac&cheese. I am a pack rat (but like i said, trying to break the habit). I still have roses from Tony from like 3 or 4 years ago. I love all animals and I can't even stand hurting an insect. I'm a tree hugger...no, not a "tree hugger!" I literally like to hug trees! (But I guess i am a "tree hugger" too since I am an advocate of environmental health). I am in love with Matt, so very much.

Hmm, I could go on forever. I amexhausted and this is probably way more than anyone is going to read. :) But it was fun, to be completely open and honest. I feel refreshed and ready to sleep.