can the world...

cut me a break?


today just sucked. especially the end. oh, wait, the end isn't near, because i have the REDO my whole paper.

anyway, after Matt left, I headed up to the Greenery to eat lunch and it was closed. I tried to cook lunch at the apartment but I couldn't because the kitchen was such a disaster, and there were no clean dishes. I did my part, my chore, cleaning the counters, wiping everything down, putting the clean dishes away (multiple times this week), and i even took the trash out, and swept the floor, which were not part of my job. But then there were so many dirty dishes there was no way I could even start cleaning them cause the sinks were so full. And so there was no way I was going to be able to cook anything, so, long story short, i was starving.

Then in the library, after I finally got food, and after Nina and Ben had left, some girl knocked my USB drive and kinda popped it sideways. I took it out to push it back into place, and put it back in and it worked fine. so i saved my paper onto it. then, saved my paper onto the computer (i thought on my MASU, but apparently not). Then I headed down to lower campus to scan something for Nygil. I came back up to the library for a study session (that nobody else showed up for). After doing some other work and taking a nap while waiting, i decided to head down to my room to finish the paper i had been working on in the computer lab. When I got down there I noticed I didn't have my USB drive (in my hurry to help Nygil and get back to upper campus I left it in the computer lab). I thought, "fine, I'll just take a nice jog back up, grab it, and jog back down to finish the paper." Well, I jogged up, and saw it wasn't in the computer I had been using, so I went to the desk, and they had it, but the guy said he had tried it and it wasn't working. I decided to try it in a computer, and he was right, it didn't work. So then I went and searched on Masu and found the very beginning of my paper, but nothing close to what I had last saved. The guy on the computer that I had been on before let me search that one, on his account, but that didn't work. So now I have to wait until he logs off to see if somehow it is on the computer, on my account.

If it isn't, I'm gonna lose my mind.

I'm exhausted. We have another stupid test tomorrow.
And I'm living in this state, recently, of just utter confusion about myself, and the world as a whole.
I don't know what to do right now.

I just need to get through this week, but right now, that doesnt even seem like a realistic endeavor.

This week:
Bill Tracking paper (tonight)
Review for test (tonight)
Do self-eval, teacher evals, program eval (by Friday)
Do a number on my Research Design, and get it ready for presentation (by Thursday)
Figure out what I am doing next quarter and register (by Wednesday)


I feel better now that I have written it all out. But nothing annoys me more than having to redo stuff that I put alot of effort into (like that stupid statistics test last week).

...
sorry, i just got stunned.
...wtf?
I didn't know something like could make me see stars.
(Oh, and speaking of being stunned, my dreams in the past two nights, have been so shocking and bizarre, like I couldn't even explain.)

well, now I'm crying. in the middle of the fucking computer lab.
But, I was knocked back to life for a second and think I have some motivation now.
I'm just gonna have to start over; chill out, suck it up, and start over.